From the 1950s into the 1970s, University of Arkansas football coach Frank Broyles and University of Texas football coach Darrell Royal did battle through their teams. Their games were usually close, including the 1964 14-13 Arkansas win that paved the way to a national championship and the 1969 "Big Shootout" 15-14 win by Texas that was the key to their national title.
The rivalry was intense. Broyles convinced his players that the Longhorns represented the evil empire of rich Texans. Players and fans on both sides embraced the hate of a great rivalry.
But outside the stadiums, Broyles and Royal became great friends. They each had prevailed over a hardscrabble Depression-era youth and had a similar approach to coaching. The two would golf together, and their families would even vacation together. When Texas beat Arkansas in that 1969 Game of the Century, Royal hugged and consoled Broyles's crying teenage daughter on the field. The two men jointly retired from college football after their season-ending matchup in 1976 (I was actually nearby on the field, straining to hear their combined announcement interview with ABC reporter Jim Lampley).
Broyles and Royal epitomized the idea of not getting along in some ways while maintaining a relationship. We could use this trait these days in our divided society, and certainly as Christians, we need to find ways to maintain relationships as much as possible. After all, Jesus said to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). Why can't we also do that for friends and family that disappoint us?
I have a fairly new friend who publicly expresses a different political opinion than mine. But we bond over our love of travel, art, and willingness to be goofy and vulnerable.
I understand there are times for boundaries. Recently I learned of a family that split over politics because one branch expressed insensitivity toward the needs of the other branch. To everything there is a season, and there is a season for time off in relationships.
But we have made relationship-breaking our go-to move rather than the exception. Even within the Christian community, we have drawn hard lines over what makes someone "Christian," and we have rejected the other side completely. Personally, I often find myself in circles that express differing theological points. I try to focus on the commonalities and the good hearts of the people with whom I may disagree intellectually.
Methodism founder John Wesley and his protege, George Whitefield, broke off their relationship over the doctrine of predestination; their churches divided into warring camps. After a while, both men realized that they actually agreed on much more than they disagreed with, and they worked to mend fences. As Christians, we must realize what is denominational doctrine and what is truly foundational to being a Jesus follower. Too often we push doctrine as foundation when it's really not.
Through prayer and the Spirit fruits of patience and peace, let us be peacemakers so we will be called children of God (Matthew 5:9). Let us, bit by bit, one by one, find avenues for relationship maintenance and mending rather than breakage. Certainly, it is not all up to us individually; it takes two to make a relationship. But in our seven-day practical faith walk, let us do our part to go the extra mile, manifest love for those who oppose and persecute us, and search for hidden commonalities rather than clear differences.
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