Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: Love Does Not Dishonor

1 Corinthians 13:5 (Love) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Not news: We live in divided society in which we vilify our perceived opponents. New news: A recent social movement wants our opponents not only to change their ways but to openly admit their wrongdoing and the harm they may have caused or supported.

I understand the strong feelings and the human reasoning behind this thinking. The problem is, it's not a Biblical policy. Our seven-day practical faith should instead put scripture into practice.

Jesus called us to love. That sounds like hearts and flowers, but truly loving others is very difficult. It's much easier to hate others than to love others, which is why we choose that route too often.

Paul defined love in 1 Corinthians 13, the Love chapter. Paul starts by saying love is patient and kind, but he gets deeper as he goes. By the time he reaches verse 5 above, we get squeamish when we see that love counters our natural tendencies.

We tend to dishonor others by thinking of ourselves as better than them.

We tend to seek our own interests.

We flare up in anger too often.

And boy, do we enjoy keeping a record of wrongs! And bringing up those wrongs. And demanding sorrow plus restitution.

My June Practical Faith Academy podcast guest, Kim Sorrelle, shares an interesting story of dishonoring in her excellent book, "Love Is." Sorrelle tells how she met a divorced American woman who had clearly been duped by a Nigerian man wanting to marry her for citizenship. It was also clear he was bilking her for loads of money before the wedding. Sorrelle kept biting her tongue, wanting to show "Karin" how things were spinning out of control, but trying to honor her by not over-giving advice.

On her own, Karin finally came to understand the man's ruse but was left with a broken heart and a lighter bank account.

Evaluating how she herself could have handled the situation better, Sorrelle wrote:

I thought that I was better, higher, smarter, on a different level than Karin. I was not showing love that does not dishonor others. Thinking I am better made her less, and that's what I got wrong; that's where love was left out. . .We are all on the same rung.

So, what do we do? Sorrelle came to this conclusion:

Sharing without advising is the trick. . .Love that does not dishonor shares with no expectations, knowing that the ones you love do what they choose, not what you choose for them. . .I realized that advice is an opinion. . Sharing your opinion should open the door to listening to the other person's opinion. When you think that your opinion is the right one, the only one, you are not loving in an honoring way. . .Love that does not dishonor does not look at the outside but wants to know about the inside.

An honoring love is part of the hard work of societal restoration. Sorrelle's writing convicts me; I myself have a long way to go toward restoration. Yes, I realize that everything within us is screaming, "But that other person won't listen!" That's not the point. The point is whether we are honoring by listening or dishonoring by advising with expectations.

I share practical faith tips each month in my free Monthly Connections newsletter. Sign up for it at CecilTaylorMinistries.com, and you'll also receive a free gift of my most popular essays and devotions, entitled "Collections, Vol. 1."