Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: Introspection after Impact

When we do harm, even if unintentionally, our image of ourselves as a good person is threatened. As I mentioned earlier in this series on putting faith into practice by apologizing, we try to convince the other person - and ourselves - that our intent was not to harm or offend them. This is how we defend our precious view of ourselves.

But once we do the work of apologizing for our impact - not our intent - hard work remains. We must be introspective about why impact happened.

It's difficult to inspect ourselves until we redefine "good person." Typically, we see a "good person" as one who doesn't make mistakes, one who doesn't harm others. What if we redefine "good person" as one who acknowledges mistakes, rectifies them as much as possible, and analyzes what went wrong and how to prevent future mistakes?

After decades of driving, I had my first accident that impacted another person. At a slow speed, I struck a motorcyclist from behind. As vehicles lined up in an odd-angle right turn lane where you had to strain to look back for oncoming traffic, I had heard him gun his engine in front of me and thought he had left. In actuality, he had then hit the brakes, determining that he couldn't make it into the traffic flow. When I accelerated to get into an opening and turned my head forward, I was stunned to see him still there. I slammed on the brakes but couldn't come to a full stop before I bumped his vehicle and jarred him.

I evaluated why this had happened. I decided I needed a new procedure. After looking back into traffic, I needed to make one last check to the right to see if anything had changed since I last looked before accelerating.

Similarly, when we have offended or harmed someone, we need to evaluate how to prevent future occurrences.

Then when we inevitably harm someone again, we need a plan for recovering gracefully. We can pause and listen when corrected. We can respond with "thank you" rather than "I'm sorry you took it that way." Instead of defensively explaining our intent, we can say, "I'm going to sit with that."

Such an approach builds our stamina. We stay in the conversation even when it feels tense, awkward, or emotional.

This process helps when we revisit the apology series core passage from Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV), in which Jesus instructs us:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

Jesus gives the high-level command, but it is easy to see a lot of details are missing from a potentially messy conversation. We can make it less messy with introspection in advance and discipline in the moment.

I'm so excited about season 6 of the Practical Faith Academy. Some great guests are coming aboard, with Art Wilson as the first. Even though he despised gang members, God called Wilson into ministering to them. We discuss his incredible, hazardous journey on Season 6, Episode 1, available now. You'll learn the amazing things God can do when you obey. Visit the podcast section of my website or search for "Practical Faith Academy" on my YouTube channel or your favorite podcast platform.